Are You Ready?

Third Sunday of Easter

I enjoy reading and re-reading John's 21st chapter, I admit it.  And it's not only because Jesus is in charge of cooking for his friends, something I and many others like to do too and something he clearly enjoyed here!  Maybe it's the palpable warmth and confidence we sense in Jesus; he's familiar in word and gesture with Simon Peter and friends, putting them at ease, encouraging them to trust in his word (again) and in their new instincts, their new faith.  Maybe it's the experts fishing all night and catching nothing, yet another sad failure of church leadership (yes, even back then) but presented to us as as an eerily familiar subtext to the deeper story.  Surely, empty nets certainly would distress the fishermen (and even more, their leader Peter who had failed so often and so recently with Jesus!  But their inability to get the job done is now one more opportunity for Jesus.  The little group, responding to his familiar challenge and invitation to trust his word, are again dumbfounded:  their huge catch shows that the kingdom is actually here, that life is abundant rather than scarce, that grace has its own power. 

Maybe it's just this resurrected Christ's easy manner, so friendly and familiar and inviting, not at all shut down by the apostles' initial fear, distrust and reluctance.

But what I've found most moving in these passages also seems terribly needed today, i.e. Jesus' two part private conversation with Simon Peter: 
Simon, do you love me?  three times, each one probing deeper into the heart of a man who was in trouble. 
Lord, you know that I love you -- three positive answers from Peter, the previously self-important, boastful, and violent knucklehead who was now learning true honesty. 
It was enough for Jesus, who then lays on his friend overwhelming, impossible responsibility:  feed my sheep, feed my sheep, feed my lambs.  Peter's love of Jesus (really, Peter's willingness to be fed by Christ's love for him )  clearly counts much more to Jesus than do Peter's sins -- and many they were. 

Is this not the conversation that our Church (and we, its leaders and ministers) could be having with the Lord?  We must know by now that it's not enough to fear for a world that will always tend to destroy itself.  It's not enough to worry and stew in our feelings of failure, guilt, and loss. 

The last part of the gospel seems to me to offer a lesson, but one easily lost to us today  i.e.
when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go. 
What does all that mean?  
Commentators caution us to not be satisfied with the following text's explanation concerning Peter's death -- that can't be it.  The "lesson" remains hidden or insignificant only to those who are not experienced enough in life to read it closely and personally, or who themselves are convinced only by some sort of muscular, dominating christianity, despite all what the prophets and the scriptures tell us. 

We do know this about Peter.  He never forgot his broken humanity, whether it was completely misinterpreting Jesus' intentions as his King or soon afterward denying Him completely.  He apparently insisted that his contemporaries not forget his failures too (thus you and I know of them from the Scriptures).  While he continued to get a lot of things wrong -- remember his many arguments with Paul about Christian identity? -- our first leader, Peter was himself now able to be led.   He was both able and willing to listen, to learn, to allow the Spirit and grace into the early Church.  It was no longer about Peter, about his plans, his success, his church "building." It was all about getting the Good News out, and doing so by being good news.  More deeply, his role was now to help others allow the Lord love them, just as Peter had finally done. 

How else could they have found their way?

Formation in Teruel - an International CM Experience

Teruel. April 12-15, 2010

We three (Juan Julián Catalán - the Provincial, Julio Suescun - visiting from Rome, and I – visiting from Little Rock) arrived here yesterday late afternoon after a quick drive of about 170 km on good roads. For me this excursion was unexpected and I understood at the last minute that I'd be here for most of this week, leaving me in a bit of a panic changing plans, rearranging masses with the Daughters of Charity, alerting the teachers at CRETA (the Theology Center) of my absence, etc.  Of course everyone here responds, "Tranquilo!  Vále!  Venga!" (roughly -- "Relax!...okay, great!....Go-man-go! ...this last one I'm not sure about)   I'm staying flexible after having learned how "spontaneous" CM planning can be, especially here.  Actually, this uptight male-American is only beginning to get the hang of my confreres' concept.  But that's another blog.

Casa Padres Paúles is a multi-apostolate canonical house (parish, residence, and rooms aplenty, some leased) located across the huge gorge that for five centuries separated our barrio (neighborhood) called En Sanche from the historical town of Teruel.  The confreres simply call it Teruel (pronounced tay-roo-éll).  Today the house hosts nine months of the Internal Seminary, an intensively reflective period of formation and integration into the Congregation of the Mission. It is also an international program supported (remarkably) by many of the European provinces (CEVIM).  Juan Corpus Delgado, Zaragoza Province's previous "Visitor" -- provincial superior -- is Director.  Corpus is well suited to the task; he's an experienced formator, very skilled in spiritual direction, quite articulate (everyone understands his Spanish!), serious when appropriate but very welcoming and a delightfully funny man in Community. Alberto Quaglialori, two and a half years ordained from the Turin (Italy) province, is his young and enthusiastic assistant. There are four other full-time CMs residing this big house (it was Zaragoza Province's Preparatory Seminary in years past) which is attached to the Vincentian parish, Parroquia de La Milagrosa. "Teruel" is one, unified house. Everyone shares meals and participate in daily Eucharist (along with recitation of the Divine Office). The seven (six pictured here a in session on CM saints and beati with Fr. Juan Julián Catalán in the center) seminarians are:

1) Leonel, 33 our Frenchman for the Toulouse Province; 
2) José Alberto, early 28, for the Zaragoza Province. Nicaragua-born but long time resident in Spain;
3) Wilmer Alfredo, 28, for Zaragoza Province, a Honduran farmer;
4) Lorenzo, 35, for the Turin Province, a computer whiz;
5) Lorenzo "the second" – they call him Lorenzino  - 22,  for the Naples Province);
6) Agustín, 22, for the Naples Province); and
7) Enrico, the eldest at 38, for the Turin Province, flautist.

It's easy to notice the variety of talent and depth of previous experience in this group of young men, beginning with language. Most speak at least two languages which they expect to continue learning and using; of course Spanish is essential here in the international internal seminary, but the five non-native Spanish speakers speak it at least as well or better than I do…

Most had already been earning a living before entering the Vincentians. One was a successful professional agronomist for a few years, another made a living designing software and setting up computers, a third is a concert-level flutist – he performed an impromptu duet with our (quite famous) composer and long-time CM resident in Teruel, Jesús Maria Muneta.

My initial impressions? 
In most ways these young-to-middle-aged men would fit in well with the up-and-coming generation of seminarians in the United States: they are enthusiastic about the Church (and the Vincentian's worldwide mission!), are conservative theologically and seem inclined toward a more orderly church structure and more centralized (and respected) church authority.  But they are genuninely committed to Vincentian studies, serious about common prayer and Eucharist, are fun to be with, and are fanatics about futbol (not the real football we have in the States, but that can't be helped) and about sports in general.  Sure, one or two get teary-eyed about Latin, just in case we return to the good ole days ... and, of course they ALL want to learn English. Which means that most of them expect to travel, to see more of the world, to experience more places and things... sooner than later, if possible.

The Internal Seminary is designed specifically for candidates who have already discerned their call to be a Vincentian missioner; there are about four more years of formation in theology before these men can request and be called to ordination. Formation such as this -- not in your own culture and not in your native language would seem, well, more complicated than necessary to some.  Nevertheless, this is not the first international European Internal Seminary and it appears that results have been favorable for this approach and location -- there have been various programs here in Teruel before.  In any case Teruel is a CM acknowledgment that the world and church has changed; so must we along with our formation.

In the United States we have had to undergo similar changes in our culture, but we CMs have been slow to adapt ourselves and our pastoral styles to rapid changes in the socio-cultural make-up of our parishes and of our young. I suspect that we Americans are overly cautious about such matters, perhaps fearing (too much) making mistakes as we haltingly re-learn to reach out to the young and invite them to join us. Perhaps we are reluctant for fear that those same young people we recruit, mentor and form will change us as well...which will most certainly happen!  Personally, I am heartened to see such an upbeat group of young and not so young CMs living and working together, handling their differences of culture, language, work, and disposition with grace and good humor. I’m also no fool; initial formation is an art and can be hard work; choosing the right director, associate, and sponsoring house must all be done with care and ongoing reflection.  Perhaps this Internal Seminary works, in part, because the sponsoring provincial, Juan Julián, and many other CM leaders (i.e. in CEVIM) involved have themselves been formators and, most important, are no strangers to Teruel. 

Indeed, it’s a house I’d love to come back to myself.

dpb

Scars that Teach

Second Sunday of Easter

I've always had a soft spot for the apostle Thomas, especiallly when vilified by some after they've read John's Gospel account of  "the Doubting Thomas."   Of the twelve, Thomas clearly is a standout apostle  for wanting to go with Jesus to Jerusalem "to die with him," an extraordinary gesture of awareness and comprehension of what was to come, especiallly in this group of mostly rather unaware and non-comprehending followers, the Twelve.  Perhaps I like Thomas because, like many in my generation, I tend to admire scientists who stoutly demand "to see" before believing.  Perhaps it's because Thomas refused to get caught up in the emotion of the moment -- to be too easily swayed by the enthusiasm of those who had claimed to have seen the risen Christ.

But the Gospel of John is first and foremost a theological reflection of a maturing Christian community (some 40-50 years after the Resurrection).  It's reallly not a chronicle of raw facts.  So, I suspect we really can't know exactly (scientifically) what happened those first few days after the Resurrection.  What we do know is how the world began to change after Jesus' Passion, Death and Resurrection ... starting with those rather ordinary, believable disciples. 

John makes a big point of the resurrected Jesus' compassion for His startled, uncomprehending friends and disciples.  It's this new, resurrected Jesus who takes his time in instructing and then eating (breaking bread) with his companions (Emmaus), of calling them by name (Mary Magdalen), and of having Thomas actually probe his scars of torture, crucifixion, death, failure.... Finding their focus and recognizing the Person for what He now was... well, it took time!  Clearly this is not the Jesus they had earlier expected, the one who would vanquish all enemies and come out (along with His followers) smelling like a rose.  It's the same "Son of Man" who really and horribly died, practically alone and reviled by his people who now, somehow and misteriously, has overcome our worst nightmares.  Thomas and the early Church knew something important: the resurrected Christ must have scars, to be believable, not only to Thomas, but to us.

In my world -- as a missionary priest in the Roman Catholic Church -- these days have been difficult with daily news and commentaries about how so much clergy abuse has taken place in our times and how poorly church authorities have attended to the victims and been responsible with our perpetrators throughout the years.  Current news-bytes and conversations (in Europe particularly)  brings me back to 2002 in the United States when, at least to some American Catholics, Church Authority seemed to have completely imploded.  On hearing story after story, first of clergy abuse of children, minors and other vulnerable people, and then how horribly mis-managed these cases had been by our leaders, many of us were scandalized or shocked, some felt betrayed, disalllusioned or even depressed, most of us were angry (blame someone!), and all of us were affected.  True, we were dealing with our shadow, with sin, but those have been very difficult times from which we are still struggling to resurface, hopeful and enthusiastic about our mission in America. 
Here in Spain, historically and culturally a deeply Catholic country, these are tough times for the Church (certainly the same can be said about Ireland and Germany!).  My guess is that, with increased interest (and openess, at least in many sectors of the Catholic Church) these are not sordid tales that will disappear along with the next celebrity's "event."  These are deep wounds on the Body of Christ, almost always on the poor and defenseless young, on those who depended on religious leaders and preachers to keep them safe; they are very deep and will not be forgotten.  The question is not how to protect the Church (and especially our institutions or "systems")  from further scandal by shieing away from speaking the truth; Grace does not come to those who deny the truth about themselves or refuse to learn how to speak about it openly.  Hopefully we are learning how disasterous (publicly) and sinful (morallly) that impulse has been. 

The question is how to heal those wounds. 

As we review the gospels during these weeks, it should become very clear that Jesus wants his chosen disciples to remember his teaching --despite our habitual distraction, dullness and obstinacy.  He wants us to remember  his signs, as well as our intial blindness.  He insists that we tell his story of  passion and death, while remembering our own fears and tendency toward flight.  And only then, it is in our telling of and believing in his Resurrection that we ourselves can be healed.  And all of this, well, for us (just like for the apostles) it takes time and God's grace!   I believe that, like our predecesors, those sinful, forgiven disciples, we too will be ready and eager to share His story with those who so desperately need to hear Good News these days.